Pub quizzes are like thunderstorms. When they are expected, they can be a source of great enjoyment and contentment, but when thrust upon the unprepared they can send innocent bystanders fleeing for cover. Like the moment that the rolling dark clouds finally blot out the sun, the dramatic cutting out of ambient music, is our earliest warning. Followed by the distant crackling of the decades old pub PA system, and finally the voice of ‘God’ bellowing the impending commencement of the pub quiz, although inevitably at such a high volume, and muffle density that it is impossible to tell whether this thundering proclamation heralds the start of the pub quiz or the day of rapture. To some, they may be much of a muchness. But as quickly as pints are drained and tables vacated by grumbling patrons, they are replaced by vibrant teams of enthusiastic quizzers and the atmosphere of a pub is transformed.

I am a complicated mix of pub quiz enjoyer, hater and even occasional host! There are times, on a Monday, taking part in the Kelham Island Tavern quiz with my friends, that I could not think of a better place I could possibly be. I’ve also been amongst the grumblers more times than I can count, dramatically rolling my eyes and seeing off my pint, after being wrenched from the solitude of a good book by the aforementioned voice of ‘God’. It all comes down to expectation vs reality. I am happy to go to the pub for the purpose of taking part in a pub quiz, or to go into a pub, knowing a pub quiz is starting soon. In both situations I am in charge of my own destiny, I have the information I need to be able to make of my night, exactly what I wish. 

And so, the Ultimate Pub Quiz, is the one that has been foreseen, and therefore can be dived into with adequate gusto, or deftly sidestepped.

To be caught unawares in the downpour, is a dreadful ordeal  for all those that experience it. But with foreknowledge we can don our wellies and splash gaily about the puddles, or we can sit at home, contented by the sights and sounds of the calamity outside, as only those who are warm and dry can.